On not learning how
Creative play for its own sake
This newsletter brought to you by a one-hour YouTube compilation of Danny Go! songs and child-sized headphones.
I know shockingly little about film photography, but I enjoy doing it. I have this sense that one day I will actually learn about it. On multiple occasions I have looked up classes. Gowanus Darkroom offers workshops. Why haven’t I signed up?
Up until now, and for who knows how much longer, I have considered photography a creative outlet, as opposed to writing, which is something I am interested in technically mastering so that I may use it to create new forms. Once I begin to learn the “right” way to take photographs, I will recognize all the ways in which I have done it “wrong.” I won’t be able to unsee my mistakes.
Learning how will result in better photographs on average. Right now, many of my photos look like this.
But sometimes they look like this.
It all happens by accident. There is no trying involved, and so there is no pressure. My ignorance of camera technology enables me to regard it as magic. Every photo that turns out is a delight. And some of my favorite photos are ones like this.
The third week of The Artist’s Way involves thinking about the creative paths we haven’t pursued. Finish the sentence. I don’t do it much, but I enjoy… If it weren’t too late, I’d…
Yesterday, on Instagram, Alex Sujong Laughlin asked followers if there is something they’ve always wanted to try but have been too afraid or something they gave up that makes them wonder, “What if I hadn’t quit?” At the time that I answered, 95% had said yes.
Film photography. Weaving. Piano. Those are mine. It’s not that I’m necessarily afraid, or maybe I am, but it’s easy to fall into the trap of “too late.” Not too late to learn, but too late to get really good, and so might as well just remain in this place of innocence, of ease, of play.
At some point, I think, I will at least learn the basics. But I also feel that when that day comes, something will be lost. Like the poetry I wrote as a teenager — most of it embarrasses me now, but there are lines I still regard as brilliant and would have no way of recreating today.
This is all to say, maybe there’s something to not learning, or at least not until one is ready. I’m on my way to drop off four rolls of film and I have zero expectations, and that’s kind of nice.
This week in Leave news
YOU ALL! Thank you for your preorders, for your kind words, for your enthusiasm about this beloved project of mine. Feeling very grateful.
Now I’m focused on getting the ARC into the hands of media people who might (hopefully!) write about it and help it find its wider audience. 🤞
There remain three ways to order:
From Lofty Pigeon Books — these will be signed!
This week in writing
On Monday, I sent off my Rockford essay to Rachel León. It still feels like something is missing from it, some tiny thing that will probably click into place as soon as she reads it and gives me her notes. Rachel is a fantastic editor, so I’m not worried!
Then I embarked upon a reread of the glass house novel manuscript, to refresh myself on where I left off. We’re back in the novel! More on that next week, when I’ve finished my reread and hopefully have a plan.
This week in reading
I finished Log Off by Kristen Felicetti and loved it. It takes place at our most recent century turn and consists of LiveJournal entries. The narrator, Ellora, is two years older than I was at the time. Like her, I had a LiveJournal (and a Xanga and a MySpace and a Geocities fan site devoted to Empire Records) and I found myself rooting not only for Ellora and her friends but also for my younger self. What a complicated time to be a high schooler. (Is there ever a non-complicated time to be a high schooler?) Recommend.
Aaaaaaaand Rachel just sent her essay edits — revision mode activated.
Love you all,
Shayne
I love your photos. They are so effortless and there's a sort of nostalgia/mood to them that is really captivating.
Omg love this!!!