All I want for Mother's Day

It’s Mother’s Day here in the U.S.

Ten and a half weeks ago, I published a book that is and is not about motherhood. It’s more about birth, which is one way a person can take on the label of mother, but I personally didn’t feel like a mother for a long time after that. I remember running into a neighbor (who is now a friend) six or so months after my kid was born and her asking, “So are you Mama, Mom, Mommy, something else?” And every fiber of my being was like SOMETHING ELSE.

Some moms out there can probably relate. Integrating this new identity can take a long time and is an ongoing process. It’s not a switch you flip and suddenly everything lights up “MOTHER.” For me at least, there were a lot of blown bulbs, a lot of faulty circuits that needed to be inspected.

This is a strange moment in history, when the federal government is tossing around ideas like paying people to have kids and allocating more transportation funds to areas with higher birth rates without, seemingly, considering the reasons behind falling birth rates. The Guardian’s coverage sums it up best:

But experts say $5,000 checks won’t lead to a baby boom. Between unaffordable healthcare, soaring housing costs, inaccessible childcare and a lack of federal parental leave mandates, Americans face a swath of expensive hurdles that disincentivize them from having large families – or families at all – and that will require a much larger government investment to overcome.

All I want for Mother’s Day is universal healthcare, universal childcare, and universal paid family leave. <3

A photo my kid took of me when he was four.

On the other hand, the book is very much about motherhood in that it’s about my grandma and my mom and my sister and the things we pass down and the ways we love each other as generations of women. I’m grateful to my mother, who allowed me to make her a character in the book and who was the first person to show me there are many ways to be a mother.

I have three book events this month, and I would love to see you there so we can talk about all this stuff + writing and memory and art, face to face.

Next up: Rockford, with Rachel León!

However you are spending this Mother’s Day, whatever your relationship is to motherhood, I’m sending you love.

Love,
Shayne